Bizarre Church Names

Friday, Aug 14, 2020, 3:39 pm

By:Tony Williams

1."Run For Your Life?"

This one is a doozy. What kind of church or ministry names itself, "Run For Your Life?" It makes it seem as if the only thing someone can do about a problem is to run. Their motto, "Let The Weak Say I am Strong," doesn't exactly jive with the name of the church.

2.The Church Of I am That I Am

This church may very well be the Church of Dr. Seuss. With a name like "The Church of I am That I am," we have to wonder what its all about. It does have a great message in stating that you are what you are, but a strange name nonetheless, said Sam I Am.

3.The Cowboy Church

This is a cute sign for a church that seems to be dedicated to cowboys. A nice plays on words with a great meaning behind it. Weird though how the cowboy has a noose around its neck. What does that symbolize? Are they rounding up souls, or lassoing souls for capture?

4.The Atomic Bomb Prayer Ministry A.K.A. Shoot Devil Make Im Eye Clear

Such a provocative sign for a provocative ministry. Atomic bombs are anything but peaceful, and their alias of Shoot Devil is just as bad. One has to wonder what exactly goes on in this church, and what exactly they are worshipping. Are they praying to be saved from the atomic bomb?

5.Mountain of Swallowing Problems Interdenomination Prayer Ministry

Swallowing? So much connotation here for a ministry, don't you think. Not a great name or a great layout on the sign. It seems they are trying to help people "swallow" their problems, but it doesn't come across that way, especially to a younger crowd with raging hormones rushing through their bodies.

6.LIttle Hope Baptist Church

Another name of a church that probably should have used a saint name rather than a city or town name. This church is setting themselves up for failure, giving their parishioners little hope at the Little Hope Baptists Church. It's funny how these things are not thought of ahead of time.

7.The First Church of Awesome Works

Something right out of the 80's, this church is all about being awesome. The First Church of Awesome Works is the first? Is there a second and third Awesome Works out there? Even their sign is out there, but it's enticing and probably brings in a lot of new parishioners, attracting a young hip crowd, or a bunch of old baby boomers.

8.Boring Um Church

Most little kids think church is boring, but to call a church that is just strange. Even if the town or city is named Boring, couldn't they come up with a name of a saint instead? And the initials U.M. look more like they are saying um, maybe even yawning.

9.Guided Missiles Church

Guided Missiles Church might be very fitting for a church where war can break out. Maybe people out there feel safe with a name like that. Here in the United States that name might be at the center of a lot of controversy. It goes to show how different cultures value different things.

10.Flippin Church Of God

This is a funny name for a church by anyone's standards. Not only is it weird to be named "flipping," but it's also slang without the "g." Sounds like a pretty hip and cool church that many young people attend, or their marketing is in hopes that they will attract a younger crowd for being so flippin good.

11.Beaver Lick Christian Church

Now who would come up with a name like this? They had to know that having the word "lick" in their name was bad enough, but didn't they realize what the term Beaver meant? A crazy name for a church even if it does reside in the town of the same name.

12.The Exciting Singing Hills Baptists Church

This looks like a very exciting place to go to church. Seems like there will be singing and lots of fun going on inside. An extremely odd name for a church to have the word exciting in quotations but when it comes to worshipping, it may as well be enjoyable.

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