Funny Hangover Movie Quotes

Monday, Aug 31, 2020, 9:10 am

By:Tony Williams

1.Alan Finds Multiple Babies

Even though Alan wanted to check the baby's collar to see who his owner was, he proclaims to be a baby aficionado. In the movie Alan proclaims, "I've found a baby before." When Stu protests the thought," You found a baby before? Where?" Alan informs him that it was at "Coffee Bean."

2.Mr. Chow's Rant

For as scrawny as Mr. Chow (Ken Jeong) is, he certainly had the men of The Hangover shaking in their boots. When Stu, Phil and Alan were all reluctant to hand over the ransom money for Doug, Mr. Chow exclaimed, "Now, give me money. Or I shoot him, and I shoot all you motha fuckas and then we take it." Your choice bitches." Jeong's character became so popular that he was paid $5 million to return for The Hangover 3.

3.Alan's Wedding Speech

Alan's supposed heartfelt speech at Stu's pre-wedding dinner was one of the funniest moments in The Hangover 2. Just when you think Alan's going to say something sweet, he changes things up and says the most inappropriate thing. He said, "Alan: None of you know Stu like I do. Not you! Not you! Not you! Not you! Not nobody knows Stu like I do. No one! I can't even tell you what we've been through, cause we made a pact more important than blood. What I can tell you is this; this is not Stu's first marriage.There was a whore in Las Vegas a couple of years..."

4.Demon Semen

The focus was on Stu Price for The Hangover 2. For whatever reason, Stu thought he was some sort of tough guy, but Alan stomped all over that notion. Stu Price, "Woah! Here's the deal man, I got a dark side. There's a demon in me." To which Alan responded with, "It's true, he has semen in him." Stu was talking about something completely different, but Alan ran in a different direction with the quote.

5.Alan's masturbation Reference

Alan is like a perverted Socrates. He says things that no one else thinks of, but they are typically perverted. When Alan considers hitting the casino so they can get the ransom money, Doug and Stu tell him he shouldn't because it's illegal. Alan replies, "It's not illegal, it's frowned upon, like masturbating on an airplane."

6.Stu's Tiger Song

Stu Price seemed like the only sane and responsible person in the film; that is until he began singing to a chicken about a tiger. "What do tigers dream of when they take their little tiger snooze? Do they dream of mauling zebras, or Halle Berry in her Catwoman suit? Don't you worry your pretty striped head, we're gonna get you back to Tyson and your cozy tiger bed. And then we're gonna find our best friend Doug, and then we're gonna give him a best friend hug. Doug, Doug, oh, Doug, Dougie, Dougie, Doug, Doug! But if he's been murdered by crystal meth tweakers."

7.Check the Baby's Collar

Alan's no rocket scientist, but even he should know better. After the men awake from a night of drinking, they discover a baby in the closet of their hotel room. The men are confused and don't know whose baby It is. Alan comes up with a bright idea and says, "Check its collar or something." Apparently, he thought the baby was a dog.

8.Sid's Herpes Disclaimer

Sid (Jeffrey Tambor) wasn't the star of the film, but his short sporadic appearances were always gut-busting funny. His play on the phrase, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas," was so random that you can't help but laugh. He said, "Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except for Herpes. That sh!t'll come back with you."

9.Mike Epps' Ruffies Monologue

Black Doug (Mike Epps) was the token African American in the film. His character didn't have much to say, but his ruffies monologue was hilarious. He said, "I always wondered why they were called ruffies. Cause you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. They should call 'em floories.. Why not floories, right? 'Cause when you take 'em, you're more likely to end up on the floor than the roof. What about groundies? That's a good new name fo' 'em."

10.Dr. Valsh Doubles as a Comedian

After dealing with patients all day, you can't blame Dr. Valsh for being cranky. Doctors are supposed to be helpful, but they aren't perfect and they don't know everything. In the scene where Phil asks the doctor if he knows how to get to the chapel, Valsh replies: "I do. It's at the corner of get a map and f--k off."

11.Was Alan a Pedophile?

Audience-goers could tell that Alan Garner was a certified weirdo from the moment he first appeared on screen. But he proved just how weird he was when he eluded to being a convicted pedophile. While picking up Phil at school, Garner said, "I'm not supposed to be within two hundred feet of a school... or a Chuck E. Cheese."

12.It Doesn't Matter What Happens Tonight

Alan Garner (Zach Galifianakis) was out to have fun when he went to Las Vegas for a bachelor party. He said, "Whatever happens tonight, I won't ever ever speak a word of it. Seriously, I don't care what happens. I don't care if we kill someone. You heard me, it's Sin City."

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