If Ads Were Honest
Saturday, Aug 15, 2020, 5:05 pm
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1.IBM
Good old IBM. They once were the international computer Juggernauts. That was before Steve Jobs and Apple had their way with IBM. IBM has tried their best to stay relevant in the 21st century but it's clear they are yesterday's news. How about IBM tries out a new slogan, "IBM Apple took us to the Woodshed" At least it's honest.
2.Fosters
We all love those old Fosters Beer commercials. And the simple and lovable slogan that would come at the end of the ad "Fosters Australian for Beer" It was classic. I have never had a Foster's, FYI I'm not much of Drinker. I think looking at the size of the cans Fosters should go with "Fosters Australian for Drunk".
3.Fox News
Fox news has been beaten like a dead horse for the last 10 years, and with good reason. Yes I know other news agencies distort the truth and spin stories towards there agenda, but Fox News takes the gold in that category. And s a comedy writer I have give them credit for their Ad slogan. "Fair and Balanced" It's like they made it to be sarcastic, and if that's the case that is awesome. The new Ad should say "Fox News" we love to mess with people.
4.Coca-Cola
Coca-Cola has been the worlds top soda company for more than 50 years, and for good reason. Coca-Cola is delicious, Most of the time. Have you ever had warm Coke? It is awful. So in the interest of fairness Coca-Cola should change their slogan from "Always Refreshing" to "Refreshing as long as its cold" I think it could work.
5.Chipotle
Chipotle has been renowned by many. This humble reporter calls it the dominos of Hispanic food. Chipotle has tapped into a seldom touched market. Outside of Taco Bell Hispanic food has rarely been commercialized. I think the "Food with integrity" ad is a bit much. I would say Chipotle "Food with Heartburn."
6.Burger King
The slogan of The BK is "Have it your way" I call false advertisement on that one. It is true that when it comes to burgers, BK has a variety of choices for you, but that's where it ends burgers if I want pizza BK can't help, so is that really having it my way? If BK really wanted to be honest their ad would say something like this. "Burger King, have it somewhat your way"
7.British Airways
The British Airlines slogan is "The Worlds Favorite airline" I personally never flown British Airlines and I'm sure it is a fine airline. With that being said "The Worlds Favorite Airline" That's a bold statement. Even if it is a great airline. Let's not be presumptuous. I got a good one. "British Airways..Were British." That's honest, accurate and gets to the point.
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8.Apple
Apple computers has been an industry juggarnaut for quite some time now. Apple is so big, at this point I believe I am the only person on earth who does not have an Iphone. Now im just kidding I know Im not the only one. President Obama still rocks with Blackberry I think. Anyway. Apple has been out so long I start to wonder. How difffrent can they think at this point? The slogan should be "Apple Thinking the same as we did yesterday" You know its true. All of their prodcuts look the same.
9.7-up
7 up is a fine beverage. It's very clean and refreshing. The current 7 up slogan is the "UN Cola" That doesn't sound too appetizing does it? The "UN" Anything sounds bad. If I worked in the ad department of 7 up I would make a slogan that reflects the clean refreshing taste of the beverage. Mine would be "7 up taste like really good detergent"
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10.MTA
I am a New Yorker so I had to get something for my peoples. The Good old MTA. MTA stands for Mass Transit Authority. For foreigners to New York those are the folks who run our subways and buses. The Ad is honest. The MTA does go your way..technically, provided that your way is on the designated route. I think its time for a new slogan for the ad Let me see. How about "MTA, were sorry we have to take you your way"
11.YouTube
The ad here is "YouTube Broadcast yourself" Sounds like a good one don't ya think? Its like rain on your wedding day..it's a free ride, when you already paid. Ok sorry you caught me in an Alanis Morissette moment there. Maybe the fine folks at YouTube could rethink this one. I have one for you. "YouTube broadcast yourself stupidly" Has a nice ring to it.
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12.Waffle House
The ad on the sign says "Good food fast" Now many people who has never been down south will probably not be familiar with this fast food staple. I call this false advertisement. Depending on the hour and the staff this could be hit or miss. The ad should really be "Waffle House Ok, food relatively fast" I think it could work.
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