12 Funny Fuck My Life Moments That Will Make You Cry
Thursday, Aug 27, 2020, 8:42 am
By:James Fraser
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FML moments! We all go through those unfortunate moments now and then. We can do little or nothing to prevent such "fuck my life" moments from happening, and we usually have no other choice but go through the period of exasperation until the horridness of the situation slowly wears off. As long as they are not ours, FML moments are funny to read! What you are about to read now is a bunch of such ill-fated yet hilarious "fuck my life" stories, as shared by people on the internet, especially those who are on Reddit and FMyLife. Here are 12 best FML confessions from them.
1.That's Unfortunate. That's Really Unfortunate!
"Today, my friend had to take my cat who has a tumor to be put down when I wasn't home since I couldn't bear to take him myself. I have two cats. He took the wrong one. FML"
This is undoubtedly the worst fuck my life moment, and no pet owner in the world should find themselves in such situation. The cat owner should have been little watchful and predicted what could possibly go wrong. Losing two pets at a time can be incredibly depressing to any person, so this man or woman isn't an exception.
2.Scary!
"Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML"
That experience can haunt people for a long time, based on their psychological disposition. Some people can never forget such things for a very long time, and they may even suffer from frequent nightmares. Death is natural, but there is always that creepiness factor attached to it.
3.Oh No!
"Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the website of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'Virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes.' I have to go on a business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML"
That was indeed an awkward situation! The best thing one can do in such scenario is to brush it off as if they didn't see anything. They, however, need to keep an eye on the other person's movements and advancements!
4.This 18th Birthday Present!
"Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML"
This person deserves a much better gift than a $5 iTune gift card. Even if he or she isn't a favorite kid of their parents, they are still out to have some love and respect from their family. Let's hope that the person had introspected themselves and changed their life thereafter.
5.This Depressing FML Moment
"Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very Christian family, I thought she would be proud. Instead, she laughed and said, "Is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML"
That's one funny mom, isn't she? Mothers know about their children very much, so we keep faith in her words and conclude that her son or daughter was just struggling to get laid! If they genuinely wanted to stay pure until their marriage, we need to appreciate their will and determination! Needless to say, it's too hard to control sexual urges!
6.That Hurts!
"Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML"
Life doesn't always give you lemons. Sometimes, it throws lemon juice right into your eyes and laughs like a maniac while you cry. This is one such case because that guy absolutely minded his own business, and his life just wanted to lampoon him in the worst way possible!
7.This Embarrassing FML Moment
"Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said: "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML"
That's a bit rude from the customer because no one in this world should be judging or criticizing people based on their jobs. Remember, getting a low-paid job isn't an easy thing at all. People still need to attend an interview and impress an employer to get dead-end jobs.
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8.This Awkward Situation
"I was having sex with my girlfriend doggy-style and noticed a piece of toilet paper had been "left behind." I had such a bad internal conflict about whether to tell her or to remove it myself; I went limp. She started crying and accused me of not being attracted to her anymore. FML"
We are technologically advanced enough to destroy our entire planet with our firepower, but can't design a cheap toilet paper that doesn't leave bits of it after wiping! Sad!
9.This Badass Ex-Girlfriend!
"While riding the bus, I saw my ex-girlfriend get on. Despite several seats being open, she explicitly sat next to me. I was at first happy, thinking she might want to make up. Nope, she instead blocked me in with her bag and spent the entire time showing me pictures of her new lover's dick. FML"
Poor guy should have just stood up and walked away from her. As a man, seeing someone else's dick sucks on any day, and if that man happens to be an ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend, things just go from bad to worse.
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10.Never Ever Share Soap!
"My roommate told me that when he takes a shower, he likes to swipe the bar of soap in between his butt cheeks, "like a credit card." I use that soap on my face. FML"
Sharing soap is the worst idea on any given day, even if you are sharing it with someone who is very close to you, like your spouse or partner. People do rub soaps everywhere on their body, so it isn't just a matter of awkwardness; it's a hygiene concern as well.
11.This Honest Girl!
"While sitting in a bar, I offered to buy the drunk chick sitting next to me a drink. She was a lot more inebriated than I thought because she looked at me with bloodshot eyes and cheerfully responded, "There's a rotten smell in my vagina!" FML"
Well, we aren't sure if she was really a girl with nasty privates or a smart girl who thwarted a lothario with a hilarious claim, but the whole situation sounds hilarious. Poor boy! We bet he would have left the table like a snail slipping into its shell!
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12.This Awkward FML Moment
"I heard my sister masturbating in her room. I took the dog around the block to get out of the house, and I came back to see her leaving her room. She had my electric toothbrush in her hand. FML"
We guess all he could do was buy another brush and store it safely! We don't think he was plucky enough to confront his sister over the abuse of his electric toothbrush in the hands of her, like a typical brother!
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