12 Hilarious Sex Memes That Will Make You Lol
Wednesday, Aug 19, 2020, 1:02 pm
By:James Fraser
Loading...
God is very intelligent! He knew humans would be too indolent to reproduce, so he invented a bizarre biological ritual called sex to lure people into having kids! His invention has worked, and the life on Earth, especially the human race, has been thriving ever since like seaweed. We now roughly have approx 7 billion d*cks and p*ssies of various sizes, colors, and shapes in our world. Oh yes, that's a huge number! Stats aside, let's talk about sex now - sexual humor to be precise! Have a look at these 12 sex memes that are sure to crack you up!
1.The Bloodshed!
Remember the date when your girlfriend blasted off her mom's rocket launcher and entered into the world. Didn't get that? We are talking about her birthday! Furthermore, remember the date your girlfriend sends out dead baby eggs every month, soaked in a pool of blood! Oh yes, stay aware of her menstrual cycle and keep a note of her period dates. Man, never trust those dates! Smashin yo girl today cuz her period is due tomorrow is just like steppin on a ketchup sachet with a hole! Pressure does the job before gravity comes into the picture!
2.Doing It In The Backdoor
Whoever made this meme hasn't really had anal sex, for sure! Who on Earth thinks about the fictional heaven immediately after a nasty backdoor sex session?! It's like asking directions to Las Vegas while in Las Vegas! Heck man, you are in Las Vegas already! If you are a God-fearing person, you should, of course, seal your poop-chute from external invasions! Remember, you shouldn't be marching into someone's grimy territory too! You have two heavens to choose, so pick one wisely!
3.Advice From A Girl
Guys, you don't need to ask a woman if she came. If you really make her cum, she will scream bloody murder! She moans, groans, laughs, cries, and beats the crap out of bed with her fists - all while putting up a weird face! She acts as if you are choking her to death. If your girl is really having an orgasm, she sounds pretty much like a screaming donkey! If she's faking one, she screeches like how Nicki Minaj does in her music videos.
4.Small D*ck Problems
"When his d*ck is little, and you moan and pretend like it hurts because you are just a really nice person with a good heart!"
Most guys with small package tend to be insecure, and that is what makes girls leave them. Unless you can f*ck a Cheerio without breaking it, you don't need to worry about the penis size. The global average for manhood is 5.1 inches. Anything less than 3 inches just hangs in there like an emblem of shame and misery! Six inches is the ideal length for most girls, so if your d*ck is smaller than that, compensate it by being a good f*cker! Try to last longer in bed, smash her hard, and be a radical "candy licker" and suck away all her disappointment!
5.When You Accidentally Spill The Daddy Juice!
"When she asks if you pulled out and you say yea."
They say that this pullout or withdrawal technique is ineffective and causes unwanted pregnancies. They want you to purchase their expensive birth control pills. You know who they are, right? Yes, we are talking about those money-greedy pharmaceutical companies! Birth control pills have terrible side effects, and they mess up the endocrine (hormone) system. If a girl is dead serious about not getting pregnant, she should ask her man to wear a condom. As a guy, if you are too worried about accidentally shooting your load inside her, you are probably not enjoying sex! Orgasms feel great, so find a way to enjoy them to the fullest.
6.Small D*ck Problems, Again
"When you've been f*cking her for 10 minutes, and she says, 'Stop fingering me already.'"
As said earlier, stop worrying about the small package, if you have one. If you genuinely want to satisfy your partner, focus on foreplay - a lot of foreplay! Forget that your penis exists and explore other ways of making her feel good. You may use your tongue, fingers, even a dildo just to get her off! Remember, every girl has a tiny penis called clitoris. As a man, if you master the art of clitoral stimulation using your tongue and lips, a girl may never leave you even if you don't have a penis in the first place!
7.I'm Still A Virgin Tho
Some girls do lie about their virginity, but, hey, why do they need to lie about that? Aren't they untruthful because most men have an unnecessary psychological attachment with virginity? Finding a teen or 20-ish virgin is just like hunting for deer in an ocean! You are not going to find one, and you can't complain about that at all. A 12-year-old kid back in our days would drag their ass back to home after the sunset. We don't specifically need to tell you what kids of this generation are up to these days! They drink, smoke, do drugs, and even have sex. As an average man, you are too old to find a virgin! Forget about virgin girls, and just make sure you don't end up dating girls with worn-out and disease-ridden p*ssies!
Loading...
8.That's Deep!
"Don't ask me to eat you out if you had an abortion. N*ggas have died in there. I ain't putting my mouth on that haunted ass p*ssy!"
Beware of those haunted p*ssies! You never know, there may be some baby ghosts lurking inside! As long as those ghosts don't turn the vag into a piranha, you need to worry about them! Well, this guy in the meme had a very distinctive perspective on abortions that we saw no man like him before. He had a valid point, though.
9.The Struggle Is Real
"When you try to pull out… But she knows you got money!"
You can't tell the court that she purposely got pregnant by tricking and trapping you. The court is not going to listen to your side of the story. If you are the biological father of a baby, you are required to pay spousal and child support for years. If you are a rich guy and smashing random hoes, watch out for the bad ones whose only aim is to suck dollars out of your d*ck!
Loading...
10.Guys With Overly Attached Girlfriends Understand
"I'm going to start a rumor that you have a small penis, so no one else will ever want you!"
If you are an overly attached girlfriend and want to spread girl-repelling rumors about your boyfriend, you tell everyone that your bf has herpes and he had given you STDs! This way you can ward off unwanted male attraction too. Guys, what do you think is the worst rumor? Small d*ck or STD?
11.Savage!
Man, who cares if a girl fakes an orgasm? All her partner wanted is sex, and he got that! If a girl is faking an orgasm, perhaps she's not sharing her body with the best guy. A real man knows how to make his girl cum! So, stop complaining about girls and their fake orgasms! They are just trying to please their men. Getting back to the point - Most guys tell BS to girls to just to impress and have sex with them.
12.Men Hate It
"You flip her over for doggy style, and she arches her back like… So you look down like..."
Not only does that pose look ugly, but it also gives little or no pleasure to a girl. She needs to point her ass as straight as she can while lowering her upper back and shoulders. The rule of thumb is that she should rest her upper body on her elbows, not wrists. On a positive note, if you find your girl positioning herself wrong all the time, it means she hasn't had much sex! Just show her a couple of Miley Cyrus's music videos, and she will understand how to pose for a doggy the right way!
Report
Loading...
Related Content
