Dumbest Criminals

Monday, Aug 17, 2020, 7:06 pm

By:Tony Williams

1.Delayed Robbery

It seems that robbers Marcio Garcia and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez are patient criminals. When they attempted to rob the Clifton Grill in West Rogers Park, Chicago, the owner told them it was too busy and to come back in an hour. After alerting the police, they were all shocked when the duo returned an hour later to finish off the crime.

2.Who's Been Sleeping In My Bed

When a father heard some noise in his ten year old daughter's bedroom early one Sunday morning, he checked on her. What he found was a shock, and even more shocking to the little girl, when her father dragged a drunken twenty four year old Sergio Osuna, wearing only boxer shorts, out of her bed.

3.Fallen Burglar

A man, attempting to rob a liquor store, found the store locked, obviously. He began to scale the liquor store wall and fell, landing on his butt. After making it to the top, he tried to drop into the shop from the ceiling, and fell again. Then, after taking what he came to steal, he couldn't get the front door open, so he attempted to jump up into the ceiling hole that he had made coming in. He fell again. Feeling defeated, he slumped down near the door, and had a smoke while waiting for the police to arrive.

4.Waitress's Stolen ID Resurfaces

A waitress at Applebees was carding a customer who had ordered alcohol, when she noticed that the ID that the woman presented was actually the waitress's own stolen driver's license. The waitress acted as if nothing was wrong, and the twenty six year old female customer, didn't even notice that the waitress was the woman on her fake ID. The waitress called the police who came and arrested the woman.

5.Assault & BATtery

Derrick Mosley thought a baseball bat was enough of a weapon to rob a gun store. With bat in hand he wandered into a discount gun store and proceeded to smash the gun case, attempting to steal a gun. The manager pulled out his own gun and held Derrick hostage until the police arrived.

6.Banana Gun

Claiming he had a gun under his shirt, seventeen year old John Szwalla of North Carolina, held up an internet cafe. While waiting for the money he demanded from the cafe the owner and a customer were able to restrain him until the police arrived. John ate the banana, destroying the evidence, or so he thought.

7.Pedophile Wants Refund

When a man in Australia made a pre-payment of 85 AUD for a date with a thirteen year old girl that he had arranged a sex meeting with, he was upset when she didn't show up. After waiting a bit, he found he called her home and asked her father for a refund.

8.A Permanent Mark

It seems these guys took a lesson from Clark Kent, who thought that a simple pair of sunglasses was enough of a disguise. Taking it a step further, Joey Miller and Matthew McNelly drew a mask on their faces before committing a burglary. After messing up the break-in, they fled the scene and were later pulled over, but couldn't deny it was them, because the marker they used was permanent ink. They couldn't wash it off.

9.Non-Nocturnal Burglar

James Blankenship should really have been arrested on pure stupidity. While trying to break into his mother's house in broad daylight by climbing into her first floor window, he was seen and ran off. The police were called and eventually found him nearby in a crawl space. As they cuffed him, James told them he thought he couldn't be arrested during the day.

10.Horse & Buggy Chase

It seems that those in a horse and buggy don't think they need to follow the rules of the road. Seventeen year old Levi Etweiler, and Amish boy, ran a stop sign, slowly, in his horse drawn carriage, then tried to outrun the police, in a low speed chase. When his buggy tipped over after taking a sharp turn, he was charged with "over-driving an animal," along with other offenses.

11.Bike Criminal

A man carrying an axe, nobody knows why, saw a bike chained to a tree and decided to chop the tree down to get the bike. As people on the street watched, he chopped at the tree, even when spectators tried to chase him off. Pretty brave for anyone to approach a man with an axe, but he kept coming back until the tree fell over. Finally, he was chased away before he get the bike.

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