Hilarious Help Wanted Ads

Sunday, Aug 23, 2020, 5:44 pm

By:Tony Williams

1.Dark and sinister

This sounds like a superhero has placed an advert because they are fed up battling basically nobody. The fact that it appears to be in the legal notices section adds some extra intrigue to it because why do they feel the need to get a contract? How many arch-enemies even read this section?

2.Too late

Well talk about somebody acting fast here. Imagine asking people to apply for a position as a truck driver when you can see what the previous guy did that resulted in the sign going up. OK it is just purely a coincidence, but you have to admit that it is pretty cool timing.

3.Boringly dressed

Dinosaurs around the world are now disappointed that they can no longer apply for this position. It is also going to be news to all of us that there are human costumes, but clearly they are only available to dinosaurs because would we not have seen them by now if they were in other shops?

4.Fishy player

After reading this help wanted sign you just automatically find yourself thinking, why clams? This has to be one of the great mysteries of our time because it is just something that does not make sense no matter how you look at it.

5.A different approach

You have to say that at least they are taking a different approach when it comes to telling people that there are jobs available. However, imagine working there and seeing this sign because would it not make you fear for your job? Would you not find yourself waiting to be fired and wishing you had not told your boss how you dislike them via Facebook?

6.Pleading

You kind of feel sorry for the business that has this sign in their window and you do wonder as to how effective it would be at getting people in the door. All that is missing is a puppy with big sad eyes to complete the sign and surely that then would encourage people to buy something?

7.Come on women!

When you read this sign you do wonder as to what has gone on with previous help if they felt the need to include the part about them not crying. It says that there are a few jokes going around and you cannot be a sensitive soul, but imagine feeling the need to put it on your advert.

8.They know what they want

It is unusual for a help wanted sign to be so detailed in what they are looking for and at least they are giving some warnings as to what will not be acceptable. As long as you follow these rules, then you are going to be absolutely fine, so not art loving musicians with a touring schedule allowed.

9.An honest ad

This advert is funny because it is just being so blatantly honest in what it wants and the reasons why that you cannot do anything else other than admire their honesty. At least you know if you are also lazy that you can expect to see another advert appearing soon.

10.Do the maths

This one is easy to explain because you just need to do the maths to see that it is impossible for anybody to actually be able to apply for this job. How can they possibly have 20 years experience when they have only been alive for 18 years?

11.But I'm not a criminal?

Well this advert is certainly different from what you normally see because it states that you must have a criminal record, so that automatically rules out the good people among us. You just hope that this was indeed a typing error and that they did not really mean it because if that is the case would you use them?

12.Rules you out?

Well surely this is going to seriously limit the number of people that can apply for this job? Do they not realize that most of us do indeed resemble one of these characters and it rules us out of applying? Surely they will be lucky to fill the position.

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