Most Inappropriate Snowmen

Tuesday, Aug 18, 2020, 2:57 pm

By:Tony Williams

1.Stabbed Snowman

This snowman has been stabbed but is still smoking his cigarette. Looking like a mafia snowman that got caught up in the action, he seems to be having his last drag before his snowman blood runs out. Didn't you always imagine, though, that snowman blood was white, or at least blue?

2.Headless Snowman

This snowman seems proud to have been beheaded. Holding his head with pride for all to see, he stands with arms wide. At least he has his head about him, enough to think of a great looking scarf for this cold winter day. Maybe he'll put his head back on, before it freezes.

3.Canonball Snowman

Now this is a snowman who serves a purpose. Hollowed out in the middle with a canon in front of him, he can fire at anyone walking by, with a little help from his pretty friend. Just load him up with snow canons and he's ready for a little ice war in the neighborhood.

4.Beheaded Snowmen

This morbid snowman seems to collect heads from his kind, and then stir them up in a pot. What made him turn into such a demon? Maybe it's because his buttons are crooked, or he has no carrot for a nose. Maybe it's because he has a rat old cap instead of a top hat. We'll never know what made him do it.

5.Hang 'Em High

Life can be tough for a snowman. It seems this guy has had it with the cold, spending all his time alone outdoors, never getting to sit by a fire, and never getting a hug. Placing his head in a noose is a cry for help. He wants someone to come by and save him.

6.Dick The Snowman

It just have taken a lot of ingenuity for these guys to build this giant penis and testicles. They also must be very secure in themselves, to design a replica that is so oversized that it has to dwarf anything they have hiding in their pants. Maybe they are using it as false advertising to attract women.

7.Poop Man

Everybody poops, and that includes snowmen. Now what they poop is an entirely different story. It would make sense that snowmen poop snowballs, and we have to wonder if they store them up to throw at unsuspecting children who bother them. This guy looks like he maybe at something a little too spicy.

8.Drunk Snowman

Even the best of us fall over drunk sometimes. This guy didn't have too far too fall, and he had a soft landing in the snow. It must get boring standing outside all the time, while everyone else is inside partying. Even though he'll have a hangover tomorrow, he looks like he had some winter fun.

9.Murder And Mayhem

Not all snowmen are good men. It looks like we had one bad ice man in this group, who murdered his fellow snowmen. However, we have to wonder what it was over. Did one snowman steal his carrot nose, or did another get too close to his branches? Seem's we'll never know because no one's talking.

10.Keg Stand

Hey looks like old Frosty's hitting the keg, and he's doing a pretty darn good job of it. Great balance, great form, he seems to be sucking it down old school style. Seems we underestimated the agility of the snowman, not to mention his high tolerance for beer and parties.

11.Doggy Style

Giddy Up! Snowmen and snowwomen need to find a way to stay warm out there in the freezing cold. They can't cuddle up by a fire, so other forms of friction work best. Even though they're made of snow, it doesn't mean they have cold hearts This just proves that snowpeople need love too.

12.Peeing Snowman

When ya gotta go, ya gotta go. This snowman looked like he was having a little bit too much to drink, and sprung a leak, but hey, it's cold outside, he has to find a way to stay warm. Looks like he made a great choice too. Not in where to pee, but in his alcoholic choice.

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