Hilarious Fortune Cookies

Monday, Aug 17, 2020, 9:33 am

By:Tony Williams

1.Invisible Lover

Sometimes when a fortune is too specific and can blow the whole thing. The cookie maker couldn't possibly know who would get this cookie and who they would be sitting across. Come on, keep it plausible, or the fun is just baked right out of the cookie. After all, the cookie themselves are not the most full flavored cookie you've ever tasted, right?

2.Trapped In A Fortune Cookie

This is a cute, harmless fortune that makes fortune cookies fun. You would never expect to get that as your fortune. Many people hold onto the fortunes that they get, sometimes for years and years, to see if any of it came true, but we know it's all power of the mind.

3.Play The Stock Market

The worse fortune every, especially in our tough economic times. It is never fun when a fortune cookie gets it so wrong, nor is it fun, when a fortune cookie tells you to gamble. What's next? Fortune cookies that tell us to drink and smoke marijuana? Well, if the cookie says to.

4.The Great Wall Wasn't Built In A Day

Rough English on this one, but the idea has some meaning behind it. Be patient in anything you take on, because nothing was built in a day. If you put too much pressure on yourself, you can implode. Give yourself time and it will all come to you, everything you ever wanted.

5.Catch On Fire With Enthusiasm

Hmmm, a great sentiment, but the idea of burning just so people can watch you, doesn't sound too fun. However, metaphorically, the idea to light the world on fire with the bright spark that you are is one of the best fortunes you can get, because it's true in all of us.

6.Robot Love Is Forever

Undying love is something we all wish we had, but would it really be all that great. I mean, in the case of a robot loving you eternally, would he be like a stage 5 clinger, someone who would just love you too much that you would want to take out his batteries?

7.You're About To Finish Reading A Fortune Cookie

This is probably the only true fortune cookie, if there ever was one. Anything else is just for fun. There is no way that a fortune cookie could tell your future, and there's really not much evidence that a fortune teller could tell your future, but at least they are channeling something other than what you just ate.

8.Avoid Making Things Worse

Apparently this fortune spoke volumes to this woman. Judging by the look on her face, she must make a habit of making situations worse, and she is probably in that predicament right now as she reads her fortune. Funny how it happens that you always get the fortune that speaks to what is going on right now in your life.

9.Only Listen To Fortune Cookies

This fortune is a little bossy. Why is it that a fortune cookie is so smart? Isn't it really just luck of the draw. What if your hand slipped and you got your grandmother's fortune, your 99 year old grandmother? Would it say, "take it easy, life is short?" instead of "go out and try new things?"

10.Your Family Isn't Done Yet

This fortune could have landed in anyone's cookie and it would be true. It seems that everything that is wrong with us is our parents fault, or so we say. It's better than blaming ourselves. And who among us doesn't have at least one flaw or fault that we so happily attribute to our parents?

11.Every New Exit Is An Entrance To New Experiences

This is actually a very cool fortune to have. It's true. Every time you close a door, another one opens. And with the new door does some new experiences. The lucky numbers on the other hand, I don't think those are true. You have to make your own interpretation of a fortune cookie.

12.That Wasn't Chicken

What do you do when you get a fortune cookie with a fortune inside that looks like this? You hope it's a joke, that's what you do. This guy pulled out a fortune that told him that what he just ate wasn't chicken. Oh the horror.

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